This week we started our baby classes. Being in the hospital, seeing where you’ll be born and talking about labor and delivery made everything more real. Soon you will be here and it’s kinda crazy.
I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but parts of that class were hard for me. At one point the instructor asked everyone to separate into “moms and support people.” I didn’t know where I belonged. In terms of the labor and delivery part I’m a support person, but I’m a mom. It was a hard and awkward moment for me and I had to fight back a lot of emotion. I’m not sure what hit me so hard or why, a lot of times I am confident and comfortable with our journey, but in that moment I felt isolated. I wasn’t a “mom” in that respect but I also wasn’t one of the men or “support people either,” I didn’t have a group, I was the only “other” in the group of 11 participants and it felt bad. The pregnant women talked about the pros and cons of being pregnant and made a list, the support people did the same. I really couldn't contribute and while I know in a few months I'll be able to commiserate with other new moms this week I couldn't. Maybe I should have split with the support people for that exercise and I would have been ok, but I was flustered. The rest of the class was so positive, I am really glad we went and it was a positive experience and I am excited about the rest of the sessions. I feel better equipped now and hopefully, a little less emotional.
Dad and I enjoyed dinner on our patio this week. He grilled and the sunset was beautiful. We talked about having dinners with you curled up in your high chair out there with us this summer. It’s going to be fun to adapt to life with you.
I also started taking some herbs (blessed thistle and fenugreek) to help with milk production so the amount of pills I take now three times a day has increased quite a bit. It’s all in the hopes of providing for you! At the end of the week we will visit with a lactation consultant then go the clinic for an ultrasound to peek at you again. We are getting closer and closer to meeting you and it is just surreal.
